Not going to lie, September is kind of kicking my ass. 

So, out of the 8 readers of my blog I email with most of you semi-regularly, so I've probably told you about C. And the other person who reads this is his sister, so...she knows (hi Carlye!)

But for those of you that I haven't emailed lately (sorry!)....this is Chris. Or C, as I've been referring to him here lately.

In short, he's smart and handsome and kind and makes me laugh.

In long (not an actual phrase), he's the peanut butter to my jelly, the guy who rescues me from bats in my apartment, who checks for criminals when I call him in the middle of the night scared. He's the guy who opens my car door every time, surprised me with concert tickets, and listens when I vent. He's the most unselfish person I've ever met, and he makes me happier than I've ever been. When I ask him to tell me something funny, he always has something to tell. He loves bananas. And doesn't mind when I make him take a million couple selfies because I always think I look weird. He's handy and he loves Midas, and he made a pact to never tickle me.

Never in my life did I think I'd be so lucky. Never in my life do I think I'll be able to be as wonderful as he thinks I am. But I am willing to spend every day trying.

A few thoughts running through my head:

I actually whined in the car about this weekend ending. Groaned, even. Because while nothing extraordinary happened in the past three days, it was one of the best weekends I can remember having. And while I love my job, nothing can really replace that weekend feeling.

This particular Sunday night, I'm grateful for
- Diet Coke, delicious and functional
- gorgeous weather
- Liberty park
- someone who makes me believe there are still good people out there
- It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

(As usual.)

This weekend was a rollercoaster. 

This whole month has been a rollercoaster. 

I have gone from extreme highs (lovely Melissa's wedding) to extreme lows (sobbing because I don't think my department is going to let me graduate) and I'm exhausted. 

I've been working all day on my documentary, and while I've made a lot of progress, my laptop keeps randomly shutting down. Seemingly for no reason. And so I've been on the edge of tears of frustration all day. Also, there was a spider. 

But then a bunch of wonderful somethings happened. 

First, my dad sent me a video of my parents' puppy playing with a squeaky toy. 

Second, I got an amazing email from a professor I really admire, that went a little something like this...
Joanna: I remember I liked your essay on Coppola's Virgin Suicides, but this one which looked at all of her films was masterful. Elegant prose, wonderful insights, perfect organization. The argument was totally convincing, the details from each film exemplified the points being made--it's good enough to be considered for publication. If it were possible I'd give it a Pass with Distinction. My congratulations on a job well done!

I can't even tell you how much I needed to hear that. Given how much BS I've been dealing with from the rest of my department, this email was a beacon of hope to me. Reassurance that I'm doing well, and that someone cares that I'm working my tail off. 

Third, I clicked on a friend's link on Facebook to a blog post by a friend of hers who had just lost a baby at 34 weeks. And it changed my night. 

I'm grateful because Beth (my coworker) gave birth to a health baby girl last week and didn't have to endure the pain of losing her. I'm grateful because this woman who I don't even know shared the story of her faith in the midst of this crisis. You could say I've experienced a crisis of faith lately (and by lately, I mean over the past year) and reading her words was humbling to say the least. 

Fourth, Despicable Me is on. 

So there's my grateful list for today. 

The other thing? I just have to make it through 6 more days and I leave for London. I'm a lucky girl. 

I have been overwhelmed this week with gratitude for the lovely people in my life. Friends and family who support me and love me, coworkers who are so patient and funny, and random nice people (like neighbors) who make me smile when I run into them.

Finishing exams has been a huge weight lifted off my shoulders, and it's been so easy to be happy and content. I wish I was better at feeling that way during times of stress as well, but I definitely let myself get anxious when there are big things at stake. (You know, like finishing my masters.)

In an effort to get better at relaxing, I want to take some time occasionally to write down things that make me happy, so I don't forget to appreciate the little things.

Tonight, I'm grateful for:
- sunny, warm weather and the opportunity to enjoy it
- friends who are like family to me
- new friends that I can't wait to get to know better
- Midasman, always

Please bear with me while I engage in some major white girl problems whining.

My fabulous and wonderful job is sending me to London for two weeks at the end of April!

But...this means that in the next four weeks I need to...
- attend a 3 day work summit thing
- throw a bridal shower for one of my favorite people the next day
- take comprehensive exams for two days straight on everything I've learned in three years of graduate school
- MAKE A FILM
- continue do my job 50+ hours a week

and for the bonus round...
- lose the 12 pounds I gained post breakup (oops!)
- try to have a life
- spend time with the best man in my life (Midasmonster, obviously)
- put in several hours a day waiting for the phone to ring

All of this begs the question: I can do all this, right? I can push myself to the breaking point for four weeks, and make it out fine on the other side. After all, I just have to PASS the exams, not ace them. I just have to MAKE the film, not win an academy award for it.

Better or worse, it's all over in four weeks. And then I get on a plane for London.

Today I...
- bought a washer and dryer (such a grown up!)
- tested two dessert recipes (one awful, one great)
- unpacked and organized a good bit of the new place
- did my taxes
- ate waaaaay too much
- went thrifting for my new side table and some kitchen accoutrements
- spent a lot of quality time with Midasmonster (ps, I'm posting from my phone and it knows that's what I call him)

Not bad for a snowy Saturday, right? Tomorrow I tackle food prep for the week, ugh.

Another Sunday night, another stressed out beginning to the week. Oy.

Things in my room I'm glad are here: (yeah, this might be materialistic. sue me)
1. Judah
2. my ps3 that plays reruns from Netflix at any time I want on my big TV
3. the little owl Mel brought me back from Mexico
4. my bathroom (technically another room but whatever)
5. D's sweater, which just came back from the dry cleaner with a horrible escalator grease stain removed. I'm glad about this one because it looks good on D and he was ready to give up on it.

And just because, something in my room I'm not happy about...
.....all the stuff I still haven't found a place for in my new room.

Fact: the times when you can't think of anything to be grateful for are the times when you need to remember those things the most.

I'm a lucky girl, I truly am. Here's a short list of reasons why this week:
1. Lauri (basically my older sister) is back from a two week trip to China.
2. I have an amazing job, doing work I enjoy with wonderful people who challenge and inspire me.
3. Two lovely roommates who make yummy food and are always up for a chat.
4. Friends who were there for me when I didn't expect it. So grateful to have them in my life.
5. My parents. Always. Permanent spot on the list.

You know when you haven't talked to a friend in a while and you have sooooo much to catch up on and your only choices are to say very little and go from there or tell them every single detail of your life since you last spoke?

That's kind of this situation, huh.

Don't worry, I'll spare every detail of the past, oh, I don't know two or three weeks and give you the highlights.

1. New job!! I'm working at an amazing company with really wonderful people and so far I'm very happy there. It was scary re-entering the full time job world, and I won't lie and say the transition has been seamless (see below), but overall, I'm so happy with my decision to accept the job.

2. D's birthday. It was last Saturday and I had been planning it for about a month, because I love celebrations and I like planning. Well, not much on the actual day went as planned, and when our big activity fell through, D suggested feeding ducks at the park. So that's how we spent his birthday afternoon, and he couldn't have been happier. And that's why he's wonderful.

My favorite photo from the night

3. BFL has ended. That's right, D and I quit. And although I'm normally not a person who likes to quit things, it got to be waaaaay too much to handle when I started my new job. It was putting a lot of stress on both of us, and we decided that we'd rather spend our time together in different ways. That's not to say we won't be working out anymore or eating healthy food. We definitely changed our eating habits when we're together, and I know neither of us wants to go back to junk food every night.

Those are the big three, I guess.

- bed
- blanket
- book
- boyfriend
- brownie

Too bad I can only have 3/5 of my list, since boyfriend is in Ohio for the family (love getting his 'miss you' texts) and brownies are NOT on plan for the day.

Today is my last day of the semester. All that's left is to email a final paper and attend one more class tonight. I also have to submit my grades, but that's not a big deal. So to celebrate my impending freedom, a list of things I am excited about.


1. open window weather

2. eating outside
3. beach trip with D's family in July
4. seeing my parents at the end of the July trip
5. summer dresses in fun patterns

6. the Cinco de Mayo party D and I just decided to throw...seems like a good excuse to try to recreate Cafe Rio pork!
7. more running in the park
8. swimming
9. lemonade
10. filming my thesis doc (OK, not exactly excited, more nervous, but I figured if I add it here maybe it would help

Stolen from Aubry

1. Vanilla Protein Powder will turn your green smoothie beige. Lesson learned.
2. The majority of people act for themselves, even when they say they're acting for others. I include myself in this.
3. If you really need a response to an email, send it with a read receipt request, high priority, and copy their boss ;)
4. Declawing a cat removes the last bone from it's toes, which is why it's referred to as amputation.
5. I need a lot more verbal validation than I thought I did.
6. Traditional pizza ovens operate at between 800 and 900 degrees, cooking the pizza in a matter of minutes. Thank you, TV at the gym tuned to some talk show.
7. With enough time, I can do anything (more on this later)

Was it me, or was this weekend exceptional?

Friday I...
- worked my tail off at the gym (30 minutes of cardio, 30 minutes strength training)
- planned a mini picnic in Memory Grove park (even though by the time we made it there the sun was behind the hill and it was cold)
- browsed Barnes & Noble with D (I love bookstores!)

Saturday I...
- had lunch at Texas Roadhouse
- went on a failed IKEA trip with D (they had nothing we needed...impossible, right?)
- visited at least 3 grocery stores because we can never figure out what we want to eat
- saw fun. with Mel! (such a great show)
- ate a verrrrry late slice of pizza from The Piehole because not much is open at 1am

Sunday I...
- had a delicious Belgian Waffle
- took a non nap (best non nap ever)
- graded a bajillion papers (OK this wasn't really fun but at least I felt productive)
- made fancy grilled cheese and tomato soup for dinner (D learned he likes smoked gouda)
- worked on the puzzle that we've been semi-neglecting for weeks

I don't know what it was about the past few days, but it was a seriously lovely weekend. And I wish it was still going on.

This time next week I'll be in sunny California! To say I'm excited would be an understatement.

It's been years since I was in California, and I can't wait to see the beach. And Disneyland! (I've never been, and I feel like a little kid right now.)

This month is shaping up to be pretty fantastic. And so...(because I love lists)...a list of things I'm excited about this month:

1. California trip: Disneyland, beach, warm weather, great company
2. St Patrick's Day Shamrock Shake with Rachel (well...with her in spirit)
3. Fun. concert on March 31
4. Festival of Colors (I couldn't go last year so I don't want to miss it)
5. Jeremy's thesis film shoot this weekend (going to be a lot of work but I think I'll learn a lot)
6. A certain new someone I'm a pretty big fan of (do you like how I resisted listing this first?)
7. Warm weather! (wishing and hoping)

With all that to look forward to, how could the rest of March not be as great as the first week?