the amateur

I mentioned A Fine Frenzy. And my friend Melissa. I was listening to the album quite a bit, and mentioned that "Happier" is one of my favorite songs.

I made a joke that it would help me get over a non-breakup with someone I'm not dating (what? I'm complicated...) and she said: "Oh, I was thinking ***** (guy I was sort of dating but shouldn't be)....'you go on and i'll go on and i'll be happier'"

The song is about a breakup, and the singer is unhappy about it, but Mel was seeing it as a good thing to be moving on...'you'll be gone and I'll be happier'

Why is it so hard to let go of things, even when we know they aren't good for us? For me, I think part of it is the idea of getting rid of a sure thing to take a risk that might not pan out. I'm not so good at risks, you see. I often feel there is this inevitability that things will turn out badly, and to protect myself I do the easy thing, or the stupid thing, or the numbing thing, instead of facing the uncertainty.

In a way, it is just as scary when things turn out the way you want them to.

But, I am letting go of the things that aren't good for me. Scratch that, I have let go of them.