the amateur

I would apologize about the girly nature of this post, but once again, it's my blog. And the majority of my consistent readers are ladies (but alas, not commenters, haha) and thus have lady parts and understand what I'm talking about.

So, without further ado, how I can tell when I'm PMSing:
- I listen to "Bridge Over Troubled Water" over and over again, because Simon & Garfunkel really get me.
- I usually cry when listening to it.
- I go through a lot of Hershey's syrup.
- I listen to Taylor Swift a lot, because she really gets me.
- Every five seconds something else sounds good to eat. This also happens when I'm really hungry though.
- My room feels SO CROWDED and I debate throwing everything away to live as a minimalist.
- I have a sudden urge to read through old journals/blog posts.
- I start hating all my clothes and feeling fat and the only remedy seems to be a face mask because it's the only action I can take in the moment.
- Lauri and I talk on the phone about eating entire pans of brownies. We don't actually do this, but we threaten.
- I suppress the urge to call my parents because I know I will only end up crying when I realize how much they love me.
- I spend days denying myself a Carl's Jr. Oreo shake because I know once I have one...all willpower will disappear.
- I bite my nails. Weird, right? I only noticed that I do this recently. The rest of the month I'm fine but PMS hits and suddenly I can't keep my hands out of my mouth.
- My lips get chapped - what is that about?

All right, I have to go throw out everything I own and make a black and white shake. Sometimes I'm so cliched.

PS - Since I'm talking about girly stuff...sometimes my roommate and I like to gross each other out by talking about lady medical things in really specific terms. Like instead of a period we say 'my uterus is shedding its lining (in homage to a college roommate of mine) and we say words like 'mucous plug' and 'placenta' and 'cervical dilation' until we're laughing hysterically/about to vomit. Love that girl.

omg edit: right after I posted this the next song on my itunes shuffle came on and it was a recording I made of my childhood music box that I now use as the ringtone for my parents...yup, crying.