“To say ‘I love you’ one must know first how to say the ‘I.’”
- Ayn Rand, The Fountainhead
Sometimes I think if I could make a list of my favorite books and make people read them they would understand me a whole lot better. And on that list would be The Fountainhead. Near the top, in fact.
I have been thinking about the above quote a lot lately. Let me add to that: I've been thinking a lot lately. More so than usual, even. There is basically a scary amount of thinking and self-reflection going on.
But back to my point (I have one, believe it or not)...on my (semi) self-imposed hiatus from dating, I have been thinking about love. And what it means to be in a relationship. And I believe more than ever that the quote above from my girl Ayn is true.
How many of us can't say the 'I'? I know I can't be the only one. The thing is, I finally feel like I've gotten to the point where I know what the 'I' means when I say it. I know me. I know the strengths, and the flaws, and all the middle stuff (which is the majority of me).
I wonder a lot about people who are frequently in relationships, and whether they really know themselves. I'm not sure they do. I used to envy those people, who never had to be single. But lately I am so grateful that I had time to myself to get to know me. I'm sure there are people on the other side of the coin, who say that you get to know yourself with another person. But I think they're often rationalizing. I think sometimes they wake up when they're 45 and realize they don't know how to be their own person.
So. Now I know how to say the 'I'.
I just need the person to say it to.
Sometimes I think if I could make a list of my favorite books and make people read them they would understand me a whole lot better. And on that list would be The Fountainhead. Near the top, in fact.
I have been thinking about the above quote a lot lately. Let me add to that: I've been thinking a lot lately. More so than usual, even. There is basically a scary amount of thinking and self-reflection going on.
But back to my point (I have one, believe it or not)...on my (semi) self-imposed hiatus from dating, I have been thinking about love. And what it means to be in a relationship. And I believe more than ever that the quote above from my girl Ayn is true.
How many of us can't say the 'I'? I know I can't be the only one. The thing is, I finally feel like I've gotten to the point where I know what the 'I' means when I say it. I know me. I know the strengths, and the flaws, and all the middle stuff (which is the majority of me).
I wonder a lot about people who are frequently in relationships, and whether they really know themselves. I'm not sure they do. I used to envy those people, who never had to be single. But lately I am so grateful that I had time to myself to get to know me. I'm sure there are people on the other side of the coin, who say that you get to know yourself with another person. But I think they're often rationalizing. I think sometimes they wake up when they're 45 and realize they don't know how to be their own person.
So. Now I know how to say the 'I'.
I just need the person to say it to.
One Response to ayn rand on love
I absolutely love the quote by Ayn Rand. And I love your post (it is really making me think). It is so true. Many people forget who they are when in a relationship. That is the number one thing (at least for me), to constantly remember who you were without the person, and to never loose that or you have lost everything.
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