Every year at Thanksgiving we think of the things we're grateful for. And usually it's the big things...our families, our freedom, etc. And I'm thankful for those big things, I really am. But sometimes it's nice to look at the little, unexpected things that make life bearable.

So this year my list is not the obvious things. It's the unobvious things.

1. my roommate Laura, who always has great advice and is just lovely in general.
2-4. 30 Rock
5.Village Inn, because it's open 24 hours and I usually want pie after my Wednesday night class.
6. Solid food. After a week of pudding and smoothies, solid food is still rocking my world.
7. Salt Lake Library
8. Scented candles
9. my ugly, super warm and comfy boots
10. Netflix, because it brings me (among other things) 30 Rock
11. new music
12. unexpectedly hilarious afternoons with C just when I need them
13. text messages from friends that are exactly what I need to hear
14. flannel pajamas
15. new friends
16. when people play with my hair
17. Cafe Rio
18. my car, Babe. Maybe I'm a little obsessed, but she makes me so happy.

OK, couldn't resist:
19. my dad, who flew across the country to take care of me after I had my wisdom teeth out. He iced my face while I slept and fixed everything that was broken in my apartment. He helped me take out trash, clean my room, and organize my closet. Plus all that other stuff the last 27 years.

20. my mom, who listens to me say the same things over and over again and never complains. And who always thinks I'm beautiful and wonderful and the best kid ever.

Happy Thanksgiving!

The other day in class Jordan came in late (as usual) so it was dark. Because it's a film class. So after the film the lights come on and the following comes out of Jordan's mouth:

"You dyed your hair. I like it, you don't look as washed out."

me: "Um, thanks?"

"I mean you look pretty, I just said it like an a**hole. If we were on a desert island I would totally try to dominate you with violence until you submitted and called me the original man."

(that part sounds weird but we'd just watched Swept Away, so it actually made a weird sort of sense)

And then we made jokes about punching our significant others in the face. Which was darkly funny at the time but now sort of sad because I have a bruise on my lip that makes it look like I got punched in the mouth.

Life is funny, no?

I only recently discovered Best Coast but I'm really digging them (her? I'm not sure). I think this is my favorite song of the album, and the video is hilarious.

As part of an effort to take back my life, I decided to start with taking back Ensign Peak.

It's one of my favorite places in Utah, and there are few things I enjoy more than going up on a Sunday afternoon, or any afternoon, really, and sitting for a while on a rock overlooking the valley. It's peaceful, and it reminds me how very big the world is, and how very small I am.

But the last time I went up, I got some bad news. Have you ever gotten bad news while standing on a cliff? No? Count yourself lucky.


This past Sunday I layered up (forgot the earmuffs though, for the wind) and started the trek up a very muddy trail.


There were times when I told myself it was stupid to be wading through mud, uphill. But I kept going. And sometimes I stopped, to take pictures. (All taken with my phone, b/c I left my camera in the car.)





Mostly, though, I just looked at the scenery and kept trudging. I was determined to reclaim this peak for me. To make new memories and erase the old ones. To take back my place.


My shoes are still caked in dirt. And my ears were cold for half an hour after I left. But friends, it was totally worth it.

Source: sombreboite.tumblr.com via Christy on Pinterest

I'm in a script writing class this semester. Scary, right?

It is to me.

We have to write at least 60 pages. And we have to do a reading at least 4 times this semester of no shorter than 10 pages. Basically, you print out copies of your script and then listen to other people butcher the lines. (I'm appalled at the reading-aloud skills of my fellow students.) It's exciting and sort of painful and sometimes really helpful.

The hardest part, obviously, is writing. So to force it out of me, I've come up with the following motivational exercises.
1. I drink a lot of water (I mean a lot) and then don't let myself go to the bathroom until I've written a certain number of pages.
2. I get really hungry and tell myself I can have something to eat when I've written x number of pages.
3. I turn off the internet on my laptop and give myself an internet break only when I've written a couple pages.
4. I take off my clothes and open the window until I'm pretty chilly and then add something every time I've written a page. (A shirt is usually the first thing back on.) It's like reverse strip poker. But for school.

These tactics may seem a little crazy, but you'd be surprised how fast you can write when you really have to pee.

Torture. It works.

Can't get enough of this song.

It is, in my opinion, the most important love we will ever know.

It is the love the brings a dad 2000 miles just to take care of his daughter after oral surgery. It is the love that makes him into a Papa Bear who wants to break the legs of anyone who ever hurt me. It is when I can hear in my parents' voices the pain they feel when I am hurting. When they tell me they just want me home for a while, because they believe that being home, with them, will help fix what's wrong. It is because they're right about that.
 
It is a cool hand on my forehead when I feel sick, and a freshly made bed when I come home. It is sitting in my room when they talk on the phone to me, and signing texts 'Love, Us'. It is pictures of the wildlife in the yard. It is coming to get me from college when I'm too sick to take the train.

It is always wanting what is best for me, and reminding me that I should want that, too. It is being in my corner when I need them. Always betting on me, even when the odds aren't in my favor.
It is unconditional, unbreakable, and cannot be stretched too thin. It is undeserved, which makes it even better. It is my end all, be all, keeps me going, what more could I ask for love.

Remember when I had my wisdom teeth removed last week? Well, I did.

It's been five days of liquids and soft foods, and I am DYING. I'm so hungry. It's really hard to feel full when you aren't chewing or eating solid food. I've been trying hard to eat well and make sure I'm getting the vitamins, etc that I need, but blending spinach into smoothies is getting kind of old. I'm sick of pudding, and ice cream, and mashed potatoes.

So, I'm making a list of all the things I would eat right now if I could:
- Cafe Rio pork quesadilla
- matzoh with butter (Alaina used to eat this in college)
- pizza
- pretzels with cream cheese
- waffles
- bacon cheeseburger on a toasted bun
- toast
- chocolate chip cookies
- cereal. many many bowls of crunchy, delicious cereal
- grilled cheese with tomato soup
- beef jerky. just because it's chewy.

Stitches are coming out in two days. I'm hoping I'll get the go-ahead to actually use my teeth at that point. Chewing is such a luxury. Can't wait!

I would like to marry Matthew Mayfield's voice. There is something about a deep, gravelly voice that really does it for me. When he sings 'no...you're not home' I just about swoon and have to fan myself.

Source: flickr.com via Joanna on Pinterest

Not to eat. 

OK, yes, who am I kidding...to eat.

But also...to wear.

Source: google.ca via Joanna on Pinterest

I think of caramel as that elusive territory between blonde and brown (which I REFUSE to call 'bronde'). Right now I have cool blonde hair...

Source: Uploaded by user via Chryssa on Pinterest

See? Mine is like the girl on the left. And I'd like to go warmer, like the girl on the right. Also, I want their bone structure. Are they twins or do all models look alike?

I need a change, you see. I could do something like this:

Source: google.com via Joanna on Pinterest

Just some low-lights and general warming. But I really feel like I need a change.

Source: rainydaysandblankets.tumblr.com via Joanna on Pinterest

Too orange? I'm sort of in love with it but I don't know if I could pull it off.

Help! I know if I hate it I can always dye it back after a few weeks...but I'm so indecisive! Am I just being crazy? People spend time + money to have hair my color...am I weird to want to change it?

I love Halloween. Love love love it. Costumes, candy, dancing, pumpkings, creepy movies...I love the whole thing. And I feel like this year I really managed to celebrate the whole month/week leading up to it.
Since I'm experiencing a minor case of post-Halloween depression today (sort of like finishing a book depression but amplified by sugar withdrawal) I thought I'd document all the fun I had so I can look back in a couple weeks and remember how great it was when the details start to leave me.

Halloween movies I watched:
The Canterville Ghost (I know I used to watch this when I was little but I couldn't find the version we had on Netflix, so I watched the one with Neve Campbell)
The Ghost and Mr. Chicken (with the ward after going through a corn maze)
The Craft (with Nicolas...even though he didn't think it counted as scary)
It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown (Sunday evening during some downtime)
Casper (once up at Heather's cabin and a second time solo as my last Halloween activity)

Halloween calories I consumed:
lots of candy
jack o lantern cookie
Hot Chocolate
Apple crisp with caramel sauce
candy corn (deserves its own listing)

Halloween activities I participated in:
walk/drive to the 'haunted' short bus up at the cabin
corn maze
costume parties (Tinkerbell one night, fullfilling a longtime dream....and a flapper the second night)

I'm trying to remind myself that my birthday and Halloween only signal the beginning of the holiday season and that I have so much to look forward to. (Mostly food.)

Adios, October.