1. a review session for the class I TA for
2. three hours of pick ups for Jeremy's shoot
3. History of Film final
4. finishing the fine cut of Jeremy's scene
5. grading 90 finals
6. grading 40ish papers
7. writing a couple reflections for my teaching in higher ed class

...could that be it? In seven short days my first year of grad school will be officially behind me!

because it's

Spring
thingS

dare to do people

(& not
the other way

round)because it

's A
pril

Lives lead their own

persons(in
stead

of everybodyelse's)but

what's wholly
marvellous my

Darling

is that you &
i are more than you

& i(be

ca
us

e It's we)

ee cummings

I know I'm a day late (and a dollar short, ha, just kidding)...but Happy Easter!

This was the third major holiday I've celebrated away from my parents (I'm not counting Halloween, NYE, and Valentine's Day as major), and it gets easier and harder every time. Easier because I am getting used to being away from them, and harder because I don't want it to get easier. If that makes sense. Which it probably doesn't.

I have lovely friends, and they surprised me with Easter treats and lovely notes. They both knew I was missing family and wanted to make sure I felt the love.


I'm not sure how I got so lucky.

Ever seen Empire Records? It's one of my favorite movies. In middle school my friends and I watched it probably once a week. We celebrated Rex Manning Day with cupcakes and would routinely quote it in response to just about anything.

We knew about the character who was cut from the movie in the editing room, and where you could catch glimpses of her. We knew all the words to "Sugar High." We figured out which characters we all were. It was sort of a magical time.

In the last scene they all go dance on the roof, and "This is the Day" by The The plays. This is the song that gets me back to a good place and makes me hopeful when I'm feeling blah about my life. The video is verrrry 80s but the song is fantastic.

I missed last week's Music Monday...I was busy with life and school and silly things like that.

It might be weird and sappy, but I really love posting a song here on Mondays. It's usually relevant to what I've been feeling, or it's just a song that I really love and want to share. This week, it's both. Not only do the lyrics to this song describe my life in a sort of perfect way, I also really love this song. It sounds kind of desperate and I like that sound.

I can't embed the official video but definitely click on the link to the left. It's Carolina Liar's song "Show Me What I'm Looking For"

*Warning: this post is sappy

Earlier this week, I was jerk. A super big (as big as I can be at five feet), inexcusable jerk. If you know the day-to-day of my life, you might think you know what I'm talking about...but you'd be wrong.

See, in a bad moment I suggested that there was nothing in Utah for me. That one person had made it bearable (and I thought that person was gone).

But the truth is...there are three girls here that make Utah not just bearable, but a lot of fun. These past week has shown me that they have my back, no matter what. I don't deserve them, but I'm glad they don't realize that.

I've talked about my roomie before. She is really pretty and it makes me self-conscious. But I just take it as a compliment that she'd be friends with me. She is like a sister to me, truly. We are so close that sadly her compliments mean nothing to me anymore because it's like your mom telling you you're pretty. Because when someone loves you that much they can't see you as anything but beautiful. So yeah. She's awesome.

Mel
You know those people in your life who are so amazing that they make you want to be better? That's Melissa. I'm pretty sure they invented the phrase 'wise beyond your years' knowing that she'd be that way, and we would need a way to describe her. Whenever I'm veering off course, Melissa knows what to say to get me back on. Also...she's my fellow blonde!

Heather

Heather isn't that much younger than me, but she reminds me of my little in my sorority, so I always think of her as a younger sister. Because if I had one I'd want her to be like Heather. She makes me laugh and I love to laugh. When I was sick with strep throat she risked infection to bring me a Frosty and watch The Bachelor finale with me. That's friendship. Also, she makes the best faces. And, she took and edited the photos I've posted here.


I had to include a serious one where they all look pretty and aren't acting silly.

Girls, you mean the world to me. I wouldn't have made it this long in Utah without you.


PS - go go gadget

I mentioned A Fine Frenzy. And my friend Melissa. I was listening to the album quite a bit, and mentioned that "Happier" is one of my favorite songs.

I made a joke that it would help me get over a non-breakup with someone I'm not dating (what? I'm complicated...) and she said: "Oh, I was thinking ***** (guy I was sort of dating but shouldn't be)....'you go on and i'll go on and i'll be happier'"

The song is about a breakup, and the singer is unhappy about it, but Mel was seeing it as a good thing to be moving on...'you'll be gone and I'll be happier'

Why is it so hard to let go of things, even when we know they aren't good for us? For me, I think part of it is the idea of getting rid of a sure thing to take a risk that might not pan out. I'm not so good at risks, you see. I often feel there is this inevitability that things will turn out badly, and to protect myself I do the easy thing, or the stupid thing, or the numbing thing, instead of facing the uncertainty.

In a way, it is just as scary when things turn out the way you want them to.

But, I am letting go of the things that aren't good for me. Scratch that, I have let go of them.

I'm spending the night with Ben, Jerry (Boston Creme Pie flavor), Dawson and Pacey.

And tentatively saying that seasons 1 and 2 of Dawson's Creek are the best DVD purchases I've made in a long time.

I have to say, this series is magic. They don't make them like this anymore. Can I just live inside this show? I mean...my name is already Jo.

And she gets all the best lines: "Clap hard, Dawson, you may be Tinkerbell's last hope."

PS-I had forgotten that the first season included pre-Felicity Scott Foley!

Also, this: http://www.jamesvandermemes.com

I keep a list of books I want to read on my iPhone (which is known for hilarious spelling autocorrections).

I was just typing in 'Love is a mixtape', and iPhone wanted to correct mixtape to mistake...

Melissa turned me on to A Fine Frenzy when we were trying to find a song to use for our photomotion. And now I'm sort of obsessed.

Have you ever had one of those nights that is almost perfect, but because there is one little thing missing or wrong it feels like the whole thing doesn't mean anything and you can't focus on the good because that one little piece isn't there?

No? I'm not making any sense because it's quarter to 1 in the morning?

OK. I'll go to bed. I just hope this is worth it.




*Obviously that poem is "Almost Perfect But Not Quite" from Where the Sidewalk Ends